Home

Today we returned home from our weekend in Birmingham.

After we arrived home Kimmie sat at the table with paper and crayons. She wrote on the paper with a crayon, picked up the paper, carried it over to where I was sitting and held it up with a big smile on her face. On the paper she had written, "Today is Monday home." There might have been something more written on the paper, but those were the words that I could read. They were enough to understand what she was telling me.

She was glad to be home, her favorite place.

--Mom

The Carousel

Today we took Kimmie to the Birmingham Zoo. It was hot. It was humid. Even at 9:30 in the morning.

We saw the flamingos. We saw the elephants. We saw the giraffes and zebras. We saw the lion and tiger and other cats. Then we headed back to the giraffes to watch them be fed. Kimmie did not want to feed them; she just wanted to watch.

We have this issue with many of the places we try to take Kimmie, and that is that when she is sitting in her wheelchair she cannot see into the exhibits. Either they are placed at eye level for a standing adult, or there is a fence or rail that is right at her eye level which blocks her view. It is very frustrating.

On the zoo's website I had seen where they have camel rides. I had asked Kimmie if she would like to do this. She nodded, "Yes." The very first scene in the Aladdin movie is of a man riding a camel. When the camel stops it puts its head down and the man slides off down the camel's neck and over its head. Kimmie thinks this is very funny. We had visions of her wanting to dismount the camel this way.

Unfortunately the camel rides stopped on July 31, and the camels were packed up and taken to the Michigan State Fair! Kimmie was a little disappointed that she wasn't able to ride a camel. We told her that the zoo has a carousel and she was happier. When she wanted to ride the carousel, we headed for the children's museum area. She rode the carousel five times before saying she was ready to eat lunch.

After lunch we saw some other areas of the zoo. Then she wanted to ride the train. Daddy took her on the train.

By this time we were worn out from the heat and humidity, but Kimmie did not want to leave without riding the carousel again. Back to the carousel we went. She rode the carousel five more times. By this time she appeared to be in a trance from going around and around so much.

I think that unlimited ride ticket was worth the money! Ten times on the carousel and once on the train.

She was in such a trance when we left that she didn't even think about wanting to go in the gift store!

--Mom

A Little Bribery

The other Saturday Kimmie wanted to go shopping. This is not new. She wants to go shopping almost every day. I told her that maybe we would go to the store on Tuesday. This did not make her happy! Tuesday seemed too far away.

Then I had an idea.

I told her that if she was a really good girl at church the next day we would go shopping.

She smiled and shook her hand "yes".

I told her that she needed to be happy in Sunday School, that she needed to color and put puzzles together and be happy.

She smiled and shook her hand "yes".

I told her that everything needed to stay on the table and nothing should be thrown on the floor.

She smiled and shook her hand "yes".

She is not very good with consequences, so I wasn't sure if she could follow through with this, but it was worth a try.

On Sunday morning we talked again about her being a good girl. No crying. No screaming. No throwing things on the floor. Happy girl.

We went to early church. Kimmie was happy. Bethany was there sitting next to her on one side with Mommy on the other.

Early church ended and Bethany left to go to her class. Kimmie started fussing. I asked, "Do you want to go shopping today?"

"Yes!" Big smile. The fussing disappeared.

We walked to the elevator and took it to the third floor. When we stepped off the elevator, Kimmie looked down the youth wing hallway for Bethany. Not seeing Bethany she started to fuss. I said, "Do you want to go shopping today?"

"Yes!" Big smile. No fussing.

I walked her down the hallway and told the folks in her class, "If she starts to fuss, ask her if she wants to go shopping today."

All through Sunday School I listened for Kimmie. Like I said she's not very good at understanding consequences. I did not hear her.

When it was time to pick her up I found her sitting quietly, rocking back and forth, and waiting for me. When she looked up at me, a big smile spread across her face.

She had a great day in Sunday School! It worked! We went shopping at two stores that afternoon!

Bethany advised me later that I have started something. Oh, well!

--Mom

My Girl

My girl has taken being a Mommy's girl to new heights this past year. It has been like having a 20-year-old toddler. Over the past year she has taken to crying when I leave her.

She has cried at school when I have been there and left her.

She has cried when the school bus pulls away from the house.

She has cried at church when I have left her.

And, sometimes, she even cries at home when I leave her.

It is like toddlers often do; however, a toddler can be picked up and comforted, not always successfully, but comforted none the less. A 20-year-old . . . not so much.

One Sunday as I sat in my Bible study class two rooms down from hers I heard her fussing. As I listened it stopped. I waited. Then I heard her fussing again, but it stopped. I waited. I thought the folks in her class must be handling her ok that day. I heard her again. Finally I decided to go see if they were ok or needed help.

Our little "smarty pants" was fussing and then watching the door to see if I would come. She would wait, if I didn't come, she would fuss some more and watch. When I peeked in the door, she saw me and started giggling. Such a little rascal!

--Mom

Confused

Kimmie is a bit confused. Since she is not quite sure about all this graduation stuff, she is also not quite sure what the gifts are all about.

She has decided it must be her birthday. She looks at us and signs, "Kimmie's happy birthday. Number is 21."

We tell her that her birthday is not until July 23 and today is June 1. This does not make her happy.

She wants to blow out her birthday candles.

--Mom

Cap and Gown

Today was graduation day.

From the time she brought them home, Kimmie didn't really want to have anything to do with her cap and gown.

As I took her to line up, I carried them, planning to put them on her when we arrived. I thought that seeing her classmates in theirs would make her want to wear hers. Well, that wasn't the case. I put it on her and zipped it up. She unzipped it. I zipped it. She unzipped it. Then they appeared with the stoll(?). (The collar thing they wear with the school crest.) We popped that over her head. Off it came followed by unzipping the gown. After several attempts we were finally able to distract her with the gown zipped and the stoll on.

The hat was another story. I guess they are one size fits all except Kimmie. It was so big there was no way it would stay on even if she wanted it to.

Kimmie did wonderful during the ceremony, but as soon as they paraded out she wanted everything off. The stoll, the gown . . . and, by the way, where is Bethany! Bethany was there to watch her, but Kimmie is still mad at Bethany.

When we found her after the ceremony, Kimmie was mad, but once we arrived she decided to be a little fashion queen. She wanted the gown back on and sort of cooperated for some pictures.

She must have decided that she should wear that gown to make sure everyone knew she graduated. She wore it to lunch. She wore it to Bethany's graduation, and she didn't take it off until we were back home again. I guess she wanted to make sure everyone at Bethany's graduation knew that she graduated, too.

We were just fine with that cause she sure was cute. And she was good through Bethany's whole ceremony. No one had to take her out and miss anything.

Great day!

--Mom

Watching Kimmie

People often comment that they like to sit where they can see Kimmie. Usually this is at church. People often find her fascinating to watch as she signs, rocks and fiddles with her shoestrings.

When we take Kimmie places I am the one who sits with her assisting and keeping her occupied. The other day I had the opportunity to switch places.

We went to Kimmie's high school senior class awards program, and I was able to hand her off to a classroom assistant who helped her through the program. She was sitting on the front row where we had a good view of her.

It was nice to be on the other side and be the one watching Kimmie.

And best of all she was really good through the entire program. I only saw her sign "Bethany gone" once, and it was right before her name was called to receive an award. Great way to distract her from Bethany!

--Mom

(She received three awards.)

Mad at Bethany

Kimmie is mad at Bethany. And has been for several days.

Kimmie is mad that Bethany has a job.

Kimmie is mad that Bethany goes places with friends.

Kimmie is mad that Bethany participated in Youth Sunday at church.

Kimmie is mad that Bethany went to prom.

Kimmie is mad at Bethany.

It is a complicated situation.

Some of it is jealousy.

Kimmie doesn't want to do these things,
but she doesn't want Bethany to do them either.

Seeing Bethany doing these things is a reminder of what she cannot do,
but yet some of this she could do but chooses not to.

The gap between what Bethany can do and what Kimmie can do is exteme.

Some of it is simply personality differences, Kimmie being somewhat shy while Bethany is anything but shy.

It's complicated.

--Mom

Change

Life is changing fast at our house and for someone who doesn't deal with change or transition very well . . . . well, life is pretty tough right now.

Graduation. Does Kimmie even know what that means? I have been trying to put it in perspective by referring to her being finished with school. No more school. No more getting up at 6:00 am and climbing on a bus at 6:30. We thought she'd be happy to be finished, but school is what she knows. School is familiar, so maybe not.

And Beyond Graduation. Maybe she's worried about what happens next. We have tried to explain it to her. Two days a week at home with Mom, and three days a week at Apple Patch. She has gone to Apple Patch the last two summers. Home and Apple Patch are both familiar to her. We thought that would be an easy transition since she knows both.

And What About Sister. This appears to be the most distressing change. Bethany has a job now, so she is gone more. Bethany has a car now, so she comes and goes more freely (which also means she's gone more). Bethany will be going to college in the fall. I'm sure Kimmie has heard us talk about college, and I'm also sure she doesn't know what that means. In that uncertainty probably lies some anxiety, reflected in the constant worry about where Bethany is.

Attempting to comfort her, calm her, assure her and reassure her has become a daily event along with the heartache of seeing her in so much distress.

Hopefully when we get through the graduations, and days become more routine, some of the stress and distress will ease. Hopefully.

--Mom

Mystery Solved

For several weeks, maybe months, Kimmie has been telling us that she wants to go shopping for the "little girl green bat movie." Hmmm. Any guesses on what that might be? We were clueless! We weren't even sure it existed.

We took her to the Mall to the FYE store. She looked and looked and looked. This is where she always wants to go shopping, but it is very stressful. She looks and looks. Sometimes she will pick a movie, but keep looking. Then she will put the movie back and keep looking. She will wring her hands. She will fuss because she cannot find exactly what she wants. She will pick a movie we already have. When we tell her we are not buying it because we already have it, she fusses. We do not like taking her here, but it is her favorite store.

We took her to FYE, she did not find the "little girl green bat movie." We took her to Target, no luck. We took her to Walmart, no luck. We took her to Meijer, no luck. We took her to Toys-R-Us, no luck. We gave up on finding this movie. We thought it might be something she created in her imaginary world.

At some point we came to the understanding that it was a Scooby Doo DVD.

Kimmie wanted to go to the Mall after church one Wednesday evening. She really wanted to go. I did not promise her that we would go, but during the Bible study, she would look at me with this furrowed forehead and sign "Go Mall." I would sign back to her, "Kimmie be a good girl, a happy girl." Her face would light up and she would sign, "Yes." We went through this several times during the study.

My Mom was sitting behind us, as soon as the Bible study was over she asked me what I promised Kimmie. I tried to explain that I did not really promise her anything, BUT . . .

As I'm sure you guessed, we ended up at the Mall at FYE. Since we thought it might be a Scooby Doo movie, I directed her to those and she started looking through them. She was flipping the boxes two and three at a time. I slowed her down and started flipping them one at a time for her. All of a sudden she grabbed one of the movies, her face lit up and she started pointing to one of the characters on the box. I asked her if that was the movie, she signed yes.

I hurried her to the register to pay for it, and then hurried her out of the store before she changed her mind. She was very happy. She watched it as soon as we arrived home. She has been carrying the box around pointing at the characters pictured.

When I sat down in the car with Kimmie, I texted Daddy and told him, "WE FOUND THE MOVIE." He responded with, "Ok." I told him "Ok" was not the correct response, he was suppose to be very impressed!

"Little girl green bat movie" = Scooby Doo and the Ghoul School.

As soon as Dad and Bethany arrived home from church, they both had to know what the movie was. And then their response was, "Oh, yeah, I get it now, 'little girl green bat movie'." I don't, but that's ok. She watches cartoons all the time and I mostly tune them out, but the other family members know all the cartoons.

--Mom

Pictures

One of the projects I am working on now is scanning our pre-digital camera pictures into the computer. As I sort through our pictures and scan them, the one thing that has struck me and overwhelmed me is how thin Kimmie was for so very long.

I'm so glad she has filled out and looks healthy and strong today.

Kimmie was always thin as a child, but there was a spell where she gained some height but not really any weight.

There was also a year of school where her teacher would not let anyone help Kimmie with her lunch. Kimmie was stubborn and this made her mad. Every day she would throw her lunch on the floor because they would not help her. Since her food was gone, we did not realize she was not eating. We did not realize until later that this was happening.

That was a very difficult year for all of us as Kimmie spent a great deal of time screaming hysterically. I had not figured out yet that she screams for no apparent reason when she is hungry.

These two events occurred about the same time and as we watched Kimmie become thinner and thinner, we were very concerned. I talked to the doctor about it and he recommended that I talk to a nutricianist. He advised me to keep a food journal of everything Kimmie eats each day and the quantity.

I took Kimmie's food journal to the nutricianist and she calculated how many calories Kimmie consumed each day. She advised that Kimmie did not consume enough calories to support growth. Pretty scary! I asked her what she would recommend that I feed Kimmie so that she would be consuming more calories. Pediasure. We tried that. It has a smell that I associate with vitamins. Kimmie would not drink it. Peanut butter. We tried that. Kimmie cannot eat peanut butter. It is too thick and just gets stuck in her mouth. She does not have the oral motor dexterity required for thinning and moving peanut butter to the back of her mouth where she can swallow it.

We were able to supplement her milk with Carnation Instant Breakfast which added some extra calories. And we worked a lot harder at getting her to eat more and eat more frequently.

The fact that Kimmie has never been able to identify the feeling of hunger as hunger added to the problem as well.

Kimmie eats pretty good now and she has snacks in between, which helps her mood (unless her snack is OREOS!). We even sometimes have trouble buttoning Kimmie's jeans! Compared to those years she almost looks pudgy now. We laugh about that sometimes. It doesn't bother Kimmie. She wants to have a tummy like Pooh Bear!

--Mom

Panda Store

This past November Dad, Kimmie and I went on a trip to Florida to the beach. On our way home from Florida we made plans to stop at the zoo in Atlanta to see their panda bears. Kimmie was very excited about this.

We were able to see two adult pandas and a mother panda with a one year old baby. It was very cool. The baby was cute waddling around and working at climbing.

The panda exhibit is very cleverly laid out so that you cannot get in or out without passing the panda store. (They must have taken some cues from Disney.) Kimmie was overjoyed by the shelves of stuffed pandas. Dad was more panic stricken as he carefully manuevered her wheelchair just out of reach of the pandas so they didn't all end up on the floor.

I was more like Kimmie, I was in heaven thinking "Christmas presents!" They had panda t-shirts, panda DVDs, panda books, panda puzzles, panda mugs, panda key chains, panda playing cards . . .

We let Kimmie pick out a stuffed panda and I picked out a t-shirt for her. Then Dad took her out while I did the Christmas shopping. I made a big dent in my Christmas shopping for Kimmie that day . . . a panda t-shirt, a panda DVD, a panda book, a panda puzzle, a panda mug and panda playing cards. It was a gold mine!

--Mom

Assigned Seats

The other Saturday morning Kimmie slept until about 11:15. Shortly after she finished her breakfast, Dad and I sat down to eat lunch. Reed was still sleeping since he works nights. Bethany had already fixed herself some lunch and eaten it while Kimmie was having her breakfast, so it was just Dad and I eating lunch together.

At our house we have this peninsula counter with seating on both sides where the five of us can all sit to eat together. It also serves as a divide between the kitchen and the family room. Kimmie and I usually sit on the kitchen side of the counter and Dad, Reed and Bethany sit on the family room side, when we are all eating together. When just one or two are eating at the same time, we usually sit on the kitchen side.

On this particular Saturday, since it was just Dad and I eating, we sat side by side on the kitchen side where Kimmie and I usually sit. While we were eating, Kimmie started fussing in the family room. We asked her different questions trying to discover what was aggitating her, but to no avail. Finally I asked her if she was upset because Daddy was sitting in her chair. She stopped fussing and shook her head yes.

By this time we were almost finished eating. As soon as Dad vacated Kimmie's chair, she rushed out to the kitchen and plopped herself in it.

Since Dad was needing to do some work using his work laptop, he asked Kimmie if he could sit next to her in Mommy's chair while he worked. No! She pointed across the table to his chair.

Dad declared that she was getting very bossy! She does like to call the shots.

--Mom

Quilt Show

Last year I took the girls to a quilt show. A while back Bethany had said that she would like to go to one.

Dad had to work, so it was just the girls and me. My first overnight trip out of town with no other adults to help with Kimmie. Bethany was 16 at the time, and good help, but not quite the comfort that another adult provides. My main concern was driving in a strange city, checking into a downtown hotel with Kimmie and all her "stuff", and parking the car.

We had a very nice trip and it all worked out well. The valet attendants were extremely accommodating.

To make the trip more enjoyable for the girls we also went to a children's museum, a natural history museum, an aquarium and a mall--so Kimmie could get her shopping fix!

We went to the quilt show twice. It was not Kimmie's favorite thing. The first time we went Kimmie was tired since it was after the children's museum and the natural history museum. She did not like me stopping to look at anything. After a while I offered her a piece of fabric that I had purchased. She snatched that fabric and started wrapping Brown Bear up in it. Brown Bear spent the rest of the trip wrapped up like a baby doll.

The second time we went to the show, Bethany had stopped at a vendor booth to look around. I found a place to park Kimmie's wheelchair so we could wait on her. As I looked at the booth where Bethany was, I decided there was space for me to push Kimmie over there to look. I carefully parked Kimmie's wheelchair in a spot where I thought she would not be able to reach anything. She is notorious for unfoldng things, unwinding things, ripping tags off, and tearing labels and stickers off. I kept one eye on Kimmie while I looked. She was leaning and stretching trying to reach something. While I was moving her so she was just out of reach of everything, the man operating the booth rushed over and asked if she likes flannel. I was stammering around trying to figure out how to answer him when he handed Kimmie a flannel fat-quarter piece of fabric. Kimmie snatched it up, grabbed her little panda bear and started wrapping it up. I finished my looking and headed to check out before she became too grabby again. As I was checking out the man asked me what her favorite color was. I told him she likes blues and greens best. He reached under his table, came up with a stack of flannel fat-quarters, pulled a blue one out of the stack and handed it to Kimmie. I told the man repeatedly that I would pay for the fabrics Kimmie had, but he wouldn't hear of it. Kimmie had another little panda bear along for the ride, so she located it and wrapped him up.

I paid for my items and moved her out of there. We went back across the way to wait on Bethany. When Bethany was finished making her purchases, she came over to us laughing. Kimmie was sitting there in her wheelchair with a baby panda wrapped in a pink blanket in one arm and a baby panda wrapped in a blue blanket in the other arm. Bethany said that it looked like Kimmie had twins, a girl and a boy. Bethany also said that the man at the booth was telling her how cute her sister was.

Kimmie made a new friend.

She held those bears, one in each arm, for a long time. It kept her happy for a good while.

After our trip, every morning as we were preparing to leave for school, Kimmie would have to pick which blanket her little panda bear was going to be wrapped in that day, and I would have to wrap him up just right for Kimmie. This went on for several weeks. I'm not sure what her teacher thought of this, but, oh well, it's Kimmie.

She still has her little blankets. Sometimes she will get one and wrap something up. Usually she gets frustrated and I have to wrap it for her. Nobody else can wrap it just right for Kimmie. I wrap it really tight and tuck the ends in so that it doesn't fall off without a lot of tugging.

Kimmie may be 20, but she's still a lot like a 3- or 4-year old.

--Mom

P.S. She never did like dolls. Her bears were always her "dolls."

Little Sneak

One day last year, during the time when I was taking Kimmie to school, I was getting our coats out of the closet and Kimmie was wandering around looking at her toys, or so I thought.

We put our coats on, gathered her backpack and headed to the car. After we arrived at school and were walking to her classroom, Kimmie was messing with her pants pocket. She would stop walking and stick her hand in her pocket. I was trying to figure out what the problem was, why she kept stopping. Suddenly I realized that her pocket was bulging. Yep, while I was getting our coats, she was stuffing her pocket full of shoestrings! About the time I saw that she had a full pocket, she reached in and pulled them all out.

Her teacher was standing in the hall watching us. I took the shoestrings and was showing them to her and laughing. Now the dilema. Do I take them home with me and upset Kimmie? Do I give them back to her? Will that cause issues? The resolution. Her teacher took the shoestrings and kept them as a reward if she did her work. Kimmie seemed to be happy with that. Whew!

The shoestrings came home with her. The next day she had on a sweatshirt with a pocket in the front. The perfect place to store those shoestrings! Day three, she was done with the shoestrings. One of her little pandas went in her sweatshirt pocket and that panda is still going back and forth to school with her every day.

--Mom

School

Kimmie has been having pretty good days at school for the last few weeks. We consider that to be almost miraculous. I guess maybe she knows the end is sight.

Last year, she was having a very difficult time. Pretty much every day was a rough day. In fact, we even considered making it her last year, but once she finishes school we have the rest of her life to try to fill with meaningful activities.

Instead, we decided to try shorter school days. Kimmie has never been a morning person, so we thought that if she didn't have to get up so early, and didn't have to get on a school bus in the dark, maybe she would be happier and more cooperative. I began letting her sleep until 8:00, then I would get her up and ready for school. I drove her to school, arriving about 8:45. She was able to sleep two hours later in the morning but only missed about an hour of school.

We tried that last winter and spring. That did not help. In fact it seemed like she decided she won round 1, so she'd try to win another round. She just wanted to play all day. She didn't want to do any work at school. Such a little stinker.

This year she is back to riding the bus. But, like I said at the beginning of this post, she has been doing pretty well the last few weeks. Hopefully she'll be happy and hang in there for a few more weeks as we finish up high school.

--Mom

Potatoes

Kimmie has this thing about potatoes.

Almost every time I am peeling potatoes she wanders out to the kitchen to investigate. She always reaches for a potato, balances it on the palm of her hand and raises it up and down like she is weighing it.

We usually have a discussion about "what is that?" "Potato." "What color is it?"

Eventually she takes hold of the potato and puts it up to her ear pretending to talk on the telephone. We have no idea why she associates a potato with a telephone.

I was telling Dad about this and he looked at me like I was crazy. A few days later we were at the grocery store with Kimmie. When we entered the produce section she found the potatoes and picked one up. She put it to her ear, looked at Dad and pretended to talk. Proof I wasn't making this up!

In addition to having no idea why she associates the two, we find it incredibly strange because she is petrified of telephones. When we ask her if she wants to talk to someone on the phone, her eyes get big and she moves away signing, "No, no, no." She never ever touches our cell phones.

Just a silly thing she does.

--Mom

Closure

I was not going to write this story, but when I was telling Dad what Kimmie did Thursday afternoon, his response was, "Kimmie Story."

Earlier this week, on Tuesday, we had our semi-annual traumatic trip to the dentist, which turned out to be a bit more traumatic than usual.

Kimmie, of course, is not a very cooperative patient at the dentist. It used to take three people to hold her down and assist the dentist. She has improved immensely over the years and I was able to hold her still by myself for part of the cleaning and exam. To ease things for me one of the assistants helped hold for a while. Kimmie still struggles some and screams some, but not nearly as much as when she was younger.

However, in the midst of trying to pry and prop her mouth open, one of her teeth was popped out. Kimmie's root structure is not very strong and over the years we have had a lot of concerns about her teeth falling out. About 7 years ago she lost one of her permanent teeth. We have been doing what we can over the years to try to keep and strengthen her teeth. We had been very thankful that no others had fallen out. To have one knocked out during a dental exam was disappointing, to say the least.

I was holding Kimmie's hands down, out of the way, when the dentist blurts out, "We've lost a tooth!" I jerked my head up to see and sure enough there was a tooth not attached to anything. The dentist was almost in panic mode . . . "It doesn't have a root." "Is it a primary tooth?"

"No, all her teeth are permanent teeth."

"But there isn't a root. Roots don't dissolve unless there is another tooth coming in behind it."

I asked, "Is there anything we can do?"

"No, nothing!" "She's not a candidate for a retainer or implants!"

The dentist finished her work quickly, apologizing profusely. Kimmie was sobbing pitifully. When she was let up, she slid to the side of the chair and into my arms and sobbed some more. She pointed to the spot where her tooth had been, and I could see her sticking her tongue in the new gap.

Kimmie hugged the dentist, sobbing all over her. Kimmie signed to her, "Cry."

Kimmie signed, "Sorry," which was her way of telling the dentist to say 'sorry.' The dentist signed it back to Kimmie. She said she knew that sign.

Then Kimmie signed 'hurt.' The dentist looked at me and asked what that sign was. I told her.

Then Kimmie signed 'cry' and for emphasis spelled it, c-r-y. The dentist felt very chastised.

I said very little. What was there to say? I was very disappointed, discouraged and depressed that we had lost another tooth, but nothing I said or did would change anything. The dentist was already upset enough, so I herded Kimmie out the door.

At the dentist's office, the routine is for Kimmie to pick a toothbrush on her way into the exam room, and then they use that toothbrush during the exam and send it home with us. For some bizarre reason they also send home the dinosaur shaped floss thing they use during the cleaning. Since Kimmie lost a tooth, they put it in a tooth-shaped holder and sent that home with us. When we arrived home, I put the bag with all this stuff on the kitchen island. I was pretty down and didn't want to deal with it, so I just left it there.

On Thursday afternoon, after school, I heard Kimmie messing with something in the kitchen. When I looked to see what she was doing, she had the tooth box in her hand. I wasn't sure what her reaction was going to be to seeing her tooth, so I walked up beside her. She opened the box and the tooth fell out, bouncing on the counter. I put out my hand and caught it. Kimmie looked at it, turned it over, looked at it some more, picked it up and put it back in the box. She closed the box and set it back on the counter. She looked at the box for a minute, and then she picked it up. As she worked at opening it, I put my hands underneath to catch it if it fell. She opened the box and dumped the tooth into my hands. Then she picked it up, ran around the island, opened the cupboard door, pulled out the trash can and forcefully threw the tooth in the trash.

She looked up and saw the dentist's bag still on the counter. She picked it up, pulled out the floss thing and inspected it. I gently told her that she could throw that away. She didn't need to be told twice; she flung it in the trash.

She reached in the bag again and pulled out the toothbrush. She looked at it for a moment, and then it went in the trash.

She picked up the bag, realized it was empty, wadded it up and threw it away. She pushed the trash can back into the cupboard, closed the cabinet door, and walked away clapping her hands and signing 'finished.' Her face reflected relief. In some way, for Kimmie, this seemed to bring a sense of closure to the episode.

I, on the other hand, was still mourning the loss of that tooth, and wondering if I should dig through the trash to find it.

I tell myself: It's just a tooth. In the big scheme of things this is really minor.

Then I think: But it is permanent. She's 20 years old and these teeth are gone for the rest of her life.

The next dentist appointment will be full of anxiety, for both of us.

--Mom

Toilet Paper

Kimmie has started this new silly thing.

When I take her up for a bath she opens the drawer with the extra toilet paper rolls. She takes one out and puts the tube hole up to her eye like kids do with empty paper towel or toilet paper tubes. Kimmie, however, does this with a full, double roll. She looks really silly with this big roll of toilet paper hiding pretty much her whole face. The first time she did this I laughed and told her she was silly. Now she does this before every bath and then she giggles and laughs. Such a funny girl.

I asked her what she was doing and she signed, "Telescope." I asked her what she sees when she looks through it. She signed, "Stars."

I was trying to remember to save her an empty tube so she could have it to play with. Last night we had one. We gave it to her and she looked through it a couple times. Then she threw it in the trash can. We were surprised. We asked her, don't you want it to play with. "No."

I guess it is a lot more fun to be silly with a big roll at bath time.

--Mom

More Sleep Issues

January 2012 is about to come to a close and I am reminded that it was January 2011, one year ago, that Kimmie began again to be up nearly every night. She continues to have great difficulty sleeping through, and we may have compounded the problem.

Kimmie usually wakes up when her blankets become tangled around her. She is a blanket collector and has more than one that she insists on sleeping with. Certain ones she has to be covered up with and others she wads up into a ball and hugs. Sometimes in the night she changes her mind about which one she wants to be covered up with.

She would wake up in the night tangled up with her covers and start fussing. One of us would go in her room, straighten out her covers, tuck her in the way she likes and head back to bed. About the time we would get settled back in bed, she would be screaming again and throwing all her covers and animal friends on the floor. We would go back in her room, pick everything up and try again to get her blankets arranged just the way she likes.

This quickly turned into a yo-yo routine, where everytime we left her she would scream until we came back. To appease her, we (actually Dad) started laying down with her until she went back to sleep, then we would go back to bed. But, sometimes, we would fall asleep and end up in there all night.

When Kimmie is awake she does not like to be alone. She always wants someone nearby. She wants to be able to see us or hear us. But she had always slept ok by herself. Now, however, she has decided she likes having someone with her all night long.

Sleeping with Kimmie does not result in a full night's sleep. Even when I sleep with her she is usually up at least twice during the night wanting her covers rearranged. Sometimes I wake up to a little hand patting on me to make sure I'm still there. Sometimes, if she wakes up facing away from me, she fusses because she thinks she is alone.

On Saturdays, when she doesn't have to get up to go someplace, she will settle in about the time it starts to get light and sleep and sleep and sleep, all by herself, sometimes until 3:00 in the afternoon. Has she become afraid of the dark? Does she sleep better when she thinks it is morning?

At some point we are going to need to stop laying down with her to break this habit, but at the moment we are both so tired from a year of not sleeping well, that the thought of very little sleep for several nights in a row does not sound tolerable.

Maybe a fairly bright nightlight will help her think it is morning and that she needs to sleep before we come to get her up. . .

--Mom

Questions

We are always asking Kimmie questions:

"Kimmie, are you cute?"

Kimmie: "Yes."

"Kimmie, are you sweet?"

Kimmie: "Yes."

"Kimmie, are you Mommy's girl?"

Kimmie: "Yes."

"Kimmie, are you silly?"

Kimmie: "Yes."

"Kimmie, are you a mess?"

Kimmie: "Yes."

"Kimmie, are you precious?"

Kimmie: "Yes."

"Kimmie, did you make a mess?"

Kimmie: "Yes."

Daddy threw in a new one recently. "Kimmie, are you stubborn?"

Kimmie hesitated, looked at Daddy, then responded, "Yes."

--Mom

Breakfast Conversations

Conversations with Kimmie can be . . . interesting.

Recently, at breakfast, Kimmie told me this:

"Flying. Blue Eeyore. Blue magic shoes. Back, Piglet. Back, Red-shirt Pooh Bear. Green soldier. Salute. Happy. Monsters vs. Aliens. Happy. Waving."

We are pretty sure that in Kimmie's head there is a world where all the animated characters from all cartoons live and share their adventures.

--Mom

Purple Shoestring

The other day Kimmie was laying down, getting ready to go to sleep. She wanted her purple shoe string to fiddle with. I could not remember seeing her purple shoe string recently, but Daddy and I started tearing the house apart looking for it. We found one. Unfortunately it was not the right one. (Since Kimmie can tell the difference between two identical shoe strings that come out of the same package, and always chooses one and discards the other, we have a lot of orphan shoe strings.) We never did find the other one, the right one.

I kept wracking my brain trying to remember when I had last seen this shoe string. We had recently been on a trip to Florida and it did not go to Florida with us.

Kimmie seemed to forget about the purple shoe string, thankfully.

A few days later we were at church on a Wednesday evening. As we sat in the Bible study class I suddenly noticed that laying on the top of the heat register behind the pastor was a purple shoe string, all tied up and waiting for Kimmie.

We were surprised that it had not been thrown away, but, then again, Kimmie is kinda known for carrying around Brown Bear and her shoe strings.

--Mom